Mini-Victories Count - Day 15

Today was a good day. I woke up, and was 229.8. I know it's just a few ounces, but just an encouragement that I'm not stuck. For those of you concerned, I am not starving myself, but eating a more balanced diet. Mommy MD suggested that I eat more veggies, which I am slowly doing. What are some good snack veggies?

I know that weight comes of slower once the initial water-weight has been lost, etc. However, I do want to be intentional and proactive about my weight loss. Having 6 small meals each day helps with the hunger and keeps me energized.

However, I am aware that I have much to learn and am grateful for friends and family who have been encouraging me. Please keep the prayers, encouraging words, and tips. Keep them coming! If there is any way that I can be of service to you, please let me know! More tomorrow!

Another Day and a Bit Frustrated - Day 14

I had a good weekend. Restful, good time with my daughter, and somewhat productive. I decided that I would relax a bit on my eating on Saturday after consulting with Steph. So, Saturday AM I had 1 breakfast burrito from Andrea's Taco Shop (used to have 2), shared quesadillas with Braelyn at lunch, had 1 scoop of Blue Bell (used to have 2 or 3), and then cleaned it back up for snacks and dinner. It was good to remind my body that I wasn't starving to death.

I worked out 6 days last week and although I had a busy day yesterday (Sunday) I still woke up early and went to the gym and did 30 minutes of cardio. However, I am feeling a bit discouraged. I have been 'stuck' at 230 lbs (230.8 today) for several days now. The last time I decided to get in shape (secretly), I wasn't eating near as clean, working out when I could, etc, and I got stuck at 230 then also. Surely I haven't hit my wall already?!?

Look, I know that muscle weighs more than fat, and I have been lifting 3 days a week, etc. My jeans do feel looser, in fact, I am going one extra hole on my belt. But for some reason, 230lbs... What I wouldn't give to see a 229.9999!!! I know that seems like a minor victory, but that would just tell me that my hard work is paying off. I mean, one of my buddies started out after I did and has already dropped 13 lbs! Granted, he is only 23, but still!

Anyways, I'm not going to quit, but I had to vent my frustration. I'm not really frustrated, in that I am going to go on a food bender and stop working out, just a bit irked. If I recall correctly, back in 2002, when I started getting in shape for the first time, it seems like it took a while for me to start really shedding the pounds. My body was transforming gradually, but nothing major in the weight 'loss' arena happened right away. I guess we'll wait and see.

I welcome your feed back and comments. Maybe Reggie will have something else to offer.

WEIGH IN: 230 lbs
Total Loss: 8.0 lbs

Week 2 - In Review

Week 2 is coming to an end. It was a good week. The hunger pangs have subsided, I've dropped a few lbs (although I have been 230 for 3 days, grr), and the time in the gym is getting a bit more enjoyable.

I lost count of the number of older friends I saw at the gym wearing khaki pants, Wranglers™, and Capri's, but some of them at least look at me like I am familiar. I guess that is something, no?

God has been so gracious to me these past two weeks. One of the greatest differences I've noticed is switching from coffee to Green Tea. Not that I am anti-coffee, but I didn't realize what a nervous wreck I could become when I drank too much coffee. I was irritable, couldn't sit still, and had a hard time concentrating on my time with my family. Since I've been drinking green tea, I've had more energy and have been enjoying a great time with my family. Steph said she noticed quite a difference as well, so that's a good thing.

I'm looking forward to my friend Reggie offering some insight into this journey. Also, several of you have indicated you are on this journey with me and are experiencing some successes as well. Your encouragement, as well as your testimonies are so helpful. This weekend should be a good time of rest on Saturday, and then Sunday I'll spend quite a bit of time driving. So, that will be a challenge in and of itself. But, I am hopeful and grateful. Thanks for reading and for your prayers!

Community and Weight Loss - Day 10

As I have mentioned in an earlier post, I have been trying for 2 1/2 years to lose weight on my own in quiet. More than lose weight, it was more weight management. Trying to figure out the sweet spot of how much I had to work out or cut back on eating to not become morbidly obese. It really had nothing to do with health.

However, since I started this process publicly and through this blog, I have been overwhelmed by the encouragement and support I have received from all of you. I have also been very encouraged and blessed to hear from friends who are pursuing this new way of life along with me. They have told me how God has been using this blog to encourage them towards honoring God with their bodies. I thank God for how He works redemption, not just in independent isolation, but also in community.

In other news, I spoke with my old friend Reggie Palma, who is a professional trainer down in Hawaii. I invited him to consider posting some on this blog so that we can have a pro help us along our way. He and I are going to start having conference calls or video chats at least once a week and he will be coaching me (FOR FREE, Y'ALL!) and helping me troubleshoot issues with my diet, exercise. Especially in those frustrating times when you seem to 'hit a wall' with your workouts, etc. So, hopefully he'll decide to post some on here, not only to help me, but to encourage those of you who read this blog and are doing this along with me.

Let me know how I can encourage you. Thanks for your prayers and support!

WEIGH IN: 230 lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 8 lbs

Green Tea, Veggies, and Rice Cakes, OH MY! - Day 9

So... Rice cakes with peanut butter on them actually make for a good snack... Things have been going alright, but today I am tired. Had to be up early for the Men's Prayer meeting at church, so I grabbed a little granola bar on my way out. Got home after our Elder's meeting and went to the gym.

Today was a lower body day. I do not heart (heart = love, for my older friends) lower body day. Lifting with my legs makes me want to be one of those dudes with a swoll upper body and then little chicken legs, but I'm going for whole body health, so, yeah... I did my work out without incident, then I did 20 minutes of cardio.

However, I had a slew of meetings this afternoon, and I did not plan very well for it in regards to Green Tea, snacks, and water. So, as I type this I am feeling a bit dehydrated and needing a good long soak in a hot tub. However, while our clawfoot tub is cute, it is made from steel, and cold... So, MEMO to self, "When you have a busy day, plan ahead, and pack some snacks and fluids." Fortunately, I didn't go on any Sonic™ benders or anything wild like that, but I can tell that I'll need to watch my choices tonight. I'm feeling entitled a bit, or maybe just tempted, so the rest of today will be a test. Thankfully, my wife and daughter are at home, so there isn't much time for closet eating.

Let me know how you all are doing or if you have any questions/topics that you would like for me to address on here.

WEIGH IN: 230 lbs

TOTAL LOSS: 8 lbs

Good Days and Bad Days - Day 8

It is no surprise that there will be good days and bad days when you are trying to make some dramatic changes in your life. The same is true for workouts. This past Sunday I went to the gym to do 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. I was the only one in the cardio 'studio', I had my iPod, and I was ready to rock! For the 6 days or so that I had been working out, this was by FAR the best workout. Lots of energy, lots of drive, and LOTS of sweat!

So, I was feeling pretty good about my workout and looking forward to working out my upper-body on Monday. Now, I should've known that Monday would be different, because I wake up at 5 am to go to seminary. The drive to seminary is almost 2 hours, then I sit for 3 hours in class, go to lunch, and sit for another hour to two-hours for another class, then I drive home for another 1 to 2 hours. All that sitting and driving and concentrating wore me out! I finally got home a little after 5 pm and was determined to go to the gym, even though I DID NOT FEEL LIKE IT! However, I was mooching off of the memories of the work out the day before, so I wasn't that hesitant.

I got to the gym and realized that the demographic had totally changed. I usually work out with the 'Older Friends', but not at this time. I guess all the beefcakes in Brenham need their beauty rest and like to go to the gym after work or when they get up at 4:30pm, but the weight area was pretty busy with college guys and the ultra-buff. So, not feeling like being overly social (I know, not very missional of me, but it had been a long day...), I decided to use the 'HAMMER' machines (machines that use real plates, etc.). I went to get a 45lb plate off of the machine next to me, and I dropped it on my foot. Fortunately, when it slipped out of my hand it was only about 6 inches up, but it hurt so BAD!

By this time I was grumbling, frustrated, tired, cranky, and not feeling like working out. But, I once again remembered the great success I had the day before and decided to rock the weights hard core. 8, 9..., 10......., 11.............. (shaky arms), 1....2.. nope.... No dice. Grr... At this point I just wanted to get off the 'machine', lie in the fetal position, rub my foot and say 'owwww-eee!'... However, not wanting to expose externally the pansy I was internally, I opted for another set...

I went through the workout, did 20 minutes of cardio, and went home. At this point, I had self-talked myself enough to be at the lowest, yet hopeful point, "At least I did something. That's better than nothing. Etc..."

Today, I went back to the gym, did 30 minutes of cardio without incident. There will be good days, there will be bad. There will be days where you wonder if that next pound will ever come off, or wonder where in the world those extra 2 pounds came from. However, we must remember that our pursuit of this new life is not a sprint, but a long marathon that requires commitment and consistency.

WEIGH IN: 231 lbs
WEIGHT LOSS: 7 lbs

Choices, Choices, and More Choices - Day 7

Until last Monday, I never realized how many choices (mostly bad) I was making on a daily basis regarding my health. What to eat, how often to eat, where to eat, etc. That is merely the surface, to be sure.

On Friday night we went to the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo and saw Taylor Swift™. I didn't really know who she was until the show, but she did a good job. The first challenge of this new season of life happened that night. We were running behind getting to the Rodeo, because we decided to take the Park & Ride™, which was a good idea, but it took a long-time.

So, by the time we got to the Rodeo we were all starving. Now, I knew there would be limited options of what to eat there, but compound that challenge with limited time and intense hunger. The choices were: turkey leg, sausage on a bun, BBQ beef sandwich, and Freebirds Burritos. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I LOVE Freebirds. However, I was concerned, because none of these options were ideal.

With time limited as well as my options, I chose to have a Freebirds Burrito. I had a regular burrito on a wheat tortilla, white meat chicken, rice, black beans, and cheese. Not ideal, by any means, but since I'm not doing a 'no carb' diet or anything weird like that, I remembered that portions are what matters. Now, hear me, I understand that this does not mean I can eat whatever I want, but it does provide some flexibility when I am in a bind.

Today (Monday), I went to seminary, which I have mentioned before is notorious for being a day of starvation/gluttony/poor food choices. However, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I have resolved to be more proactive in making preparations, and my dear wife has offered to help. So, I chose to take time yesterday to go to the store and get a few things that we were out of, and Steph made me a great lunch with plenty of healthy snacks. Thanks, Steph!

One of the greatest realizations/lessons that I have learned this first week is how integrated these choices are with every choice in your life. I realized that when one area of my life is out of whack, it effects all aspects of my life. Since I have resolved to be healthy and proactive in that regard, I have noticed steps towards more proactivity in several other aspects in my life. It probably helps that I am already experiencing more energy and some small successes, so I am encouraged.

However, now is when it gets tough. The novelty of this new 'project' is wearing off, weight is coming off pretty quickly, but it will begin to slow down. I am able to tighten my belt to the next notch, so the deceptive thoughts are coming back, i.e., "You can eat this or that and just work it off later." By God's grace, I have not succumbed to any of this temptation, but it is real, and will continue to increase. Also, I am aware of the temptation to move from pride in the form of entitlement, to pride in the form of judgment, arrogance, and vanity... More on those some other blog.

WEIGH IN: 232 lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 6 lbs

What I Am Doing

This is just a short post for the weekend. I will get back to full posts tomorrow (Monday). However, several of you have been asking me what I have been doing to re-align my life, health, and pursuit of God (it's all connected, you know?).

40 Pounds of Purpose Plan:

1. 8-10 cups of hot green tea a day (I don’t add sugar) --> After 2 days of this I’m completely off coffee and have more energy.
2. 5-6 smaller meals (balanced, not no-carb or anything creepy like that). At least one snack needs to be fruit or veggies. Portions are what really get us.
3. Exercise 6 Days a week – Weights and Cardio – EX: Mon. - upper body – 3 reps of 12 (Chest, Bi, Tri, Shoulders, Back, Abs) and 20 minutes moderate cardio (i.e. Not killing yourself, just keeping the heart rate up)., Tues. - Cardio – 30 minutes (currently using elliptical on the ‘Weight Loss’ program), Weds. - Lower Body (Leg Extensions, Leg Curls, Calf Raises, Lunges) and 20 minutes moderate cardio, Thursday - (Same as Tuesday), Friday – Same as Monday.
4. TONS ICE COLD WATER. The hot green tea (especially around meals) helps to keep the cholesterol from forming plaque (according to my doc), but the ice cold water forces your body to work harder in keeping your base body temperature up, so you burn more calories.
5. Multi-vitamin - my doc wrote me a script for prenatals that I can get at WalMart™ for $4/month. Generic, but pretty good.
   
6. Supplements - Chromium Picolinate, Vitamin C (I take extra) - maybe more when I burn some fat, such as protein, etc. I did have a natural Whey shake. Brandi gave me some whey from the goat's milk cheese she was making (they have goats y'all!). Actually wasn't that bad.

Here are a few tips that helped me get started:

1. Set a start date.
2. Don't get crazy with the junk food the day before you start in order to have 'one last hurrah'. You will regret it. Trust me.
3. Plan ahead - i.e. if I know I will be leaving super early on Monday's for seminary, thus having a propensity to eat junk food or skip meals all day (both happen, actually), then I need to ask my lovely wife to help me by packing a healthy lunch with several snacks.
4. Enlist Accountability - I have done this, and actually this blog is another form as well. Don't diet in secret, I've tried for 2 1/2 years, and it doesn't work.
5. Pray, Pray, and Pray Some More (This should be before, during, and ongoing...)

Let me know if I can help/serve you in anyway or if you would like to join me in this pursuit.

Week 1 - In Review - Day 5

The image is a bit dramatic, but I like it, so there. This morning I went to the gym and, again, there were a lot of Older Friends™ there. I spotted 4 pairs of khaki pants, 2 sweaters (V-Neck, Sleeveless, over buttondowns, what are those called?), 2 pairs of blue jeans, and one pair of blue jean Capri's. Today I was carrying around this JUMBO Coca-Cola™ insulated mug that I carry my water in. The Older Friends™ actually spoke to me, but only to comment on the size of my water jug. One older man said, "If I drank that much water I would be running to the bathroom all the time." I thought, "Running...? ;-)" I just replied that the first few days of drinking a lot of water had me on the 'run' as well.

This week has had its ups and downs, but overall, it was a good start. However, the last few times I've tried to get in shape and be healthy I do okay for the first 2 weeks. After that it gets difficult and monotonous. So, your continued prayers, encouragement, and support have been so helpful, and are needed as I move forward with this challenge.

Confession: I fed my daughter mac and cheese last night. Just her and I, and I WANTED SOME SO BAD! However, I scooped the warm goodness that was left over into a Tupperware™ and didn't even have one bite. I wanted it so bad, though. Then the girls came over last night with a cookie cake for Erica's birthday. I WANTED THAT TOO! But, I didn't have any. I'm confessing temptation here, which is not sin, I know, but it helps me to feel better by sharing it.

I had a good conversation with my mom this week. She is always such a huge encouragement and has modeled beautifully how to struggle forward in regards to weight issues. I am so proud of her, she has been working very hard and is now in great shape! Also, talked to my sister this week and she was very encouraging as well. She recently had her second son and is working towards getting that baby weight off. Go SIS! And thanks to my dad, just because he rocks (even though that man can eat fried chicken fingers everyday if he wants to, and doesn't gain weight... hrmph...).

Pastor Justin has been a huge help along with his great wife, Dr. Brandi (Mommy, MD). When I confessed to the elders on Wednesday that I had been a poor steward and was actively seeking repentance they were gracious. Justin called me later that day and invited me to lunch (on him!) and was very encouraging and helpful. Thanks, Pastor!

Also, I want to say thanks to my old friend James Lane. This dude is stellar and always helps me to remain balanced (theologically) and missional in my thinking. Not only that, but he has been a huge encouragement to me over the past few years in the way he has actively pursued weight loss. James - I'm proud of you, buddy, and very thankful for your friendship.

There are many others of you who have expressed your friendship, love, and support and I cannot thank you enough. Your thoughts, tips, and prayers are invaluable to me. Please keep it all coming.

To my bro's who are committing to struggling forward with me: Pete, Angelo, and Josh... Let's do this, for real.

And last, but certainly not least, to my dear wife Steph. I love you. Thank you for being SO patient with me these last few years. You have supported many attempts to get back into shape, you haven't mocked me, and you have gently reminded me of your desire for me to be healthy. You have loved me increasingly, regardless if I am large or small (and I've been both in our relationship!). I cannot do this without you! (And thanks to Braelyn for sharing your grapes with me!)

Well, I am undecided if I will blog over the weekend. I may, I may not. If you are interested in following this journey then feel free to add this blog to your RSS reader, or subscribe by clicking the 'Follow' button to the right.

Let me know if I can serve you in any way.

WEIGH IN: 234 lbs
TOTAL LOSS: 4lbs

Flashbacks - Day 4

I am a thinker.  I like to think about things, stew on them, if you will.  However, when my body gets to a certain level of strain/stress (i.e. elevated blood pressure) my thoughts get a bit strange. 

Today is a cardio day.  I alternate weight lifting and cardio (although I do some cardio after lifting right now to burn extra calories) every day, 5-6 days a week.  I was doing the 'Weight Loss' program on the elliptical machine and was on my final 'elevated' portion of my 30 minute workout.

By this point my blood pressure is around 170 or so, I'm sweating, and feel determined to see this thing through.  That's when I start getting flashbacks of all the meals that I ate that I thought to myself while eating them, "I'm going to have to pay for this later."  If my eating habits were spending habits, I'd be in a lot of debt!  Anyways, my favorite foods that I will now have to pass on more than enjoy began flowing through my brain.

Now understand me, I understand that after living a certain way for a while that it is common to go through a certain amount of mourning over the loss of some beloved friends.  However, I cannot describe the feeling of seeing Brooklyn Style Pizza (Pepperoni and Extra Cheese), Burritos, Cheeseburgers, and other greasy goodness, flow through my mind as I am entering the peak of my workout.  It was both sad and nauseating.

Overall, things are going pretty well thus far.  I mean, I haven't thought (seriously) about going to the Blue Bell Factory and offering to join strangers on the tour for the 'free' scoop at the end or anything desperate like that.  However, I realized that if I stay up too late, that I become STARVING and it takes everything in me not to drive over to Andrea's Taco Shop and get a breakfast burrito (or 3).  So, if you're up in the evening and think about me, pray...  

Gym outfit of the day:  An Older Friend was walking on the treadmill in front of me and he had on a khaki ball cap, button down, long sleeved shirt, and brown Wranglers, with white walking shoes.  CLASSIC!  I'm not one really to talk though, I was wearing a black T-Shirt that said, "BEST CAMP EVER" (from Horizon Camps) and green shorts that I wore to be ELF one year for a party (I need to do laundry).

START WEIGHT: 238 lbs

WEIGH IN: 235 lbs

TOTAL LOSS:       3 lbs

P.S. - Thanks to all of you for your support and E-mails.  They are such a help!  Also, if you have any helpful tips that don't include joining a pyramid scheme, let me know!

Reference Images

This was me after doing Body for Life™ in 2002. I was 24 years old and 195lbs.

This is me today after doing living for food (& self). I am 30 years old and 236lbs.

Okay, so I know the facial hair adds a few pounds to my face, but you can get the picture... Literally.

Me and the Older Friends - Day 3

I am now on day 3 of 40 Pounds of Purpose. I weighed in today and was 236! 2 pounds of water weight down, 38 lbs to go! So far, I have been eating well, only snacking on healthy stuff (apples, fiber one cereal, etc.), drinking tons of water and tons of green tea = plenty of trips to the bathroom / backyard.

This morning I spoke to the Elders at Christ Church about helping me walk through this time of redemption with accountability and encouragement. They were of course glad to help and asked how they could. Great guys, blessing to serve with. I also enlisted 3 other guys so far to struggle forward with me, so that was very encouraging.

Then I went to the gym. Now, when we lived in the Sugar Land (SL) area, we were at 24 Hour Fitness™ and then YMCA™. Those were both nice, but then they started building LifeTime Fitness™ and LA Fitness™ all over our area, which were the hot-spots. We never could justify spending that much on our budget, so we slummed it at the former places. However, once we got to Brenham our options have changed a bit... The place I go resembles a 2A High School's field house, more than an actual fitness club. There is a pretty sweet quote above the mirror though (and perhaps repeated in the men's room above the urinal, but I digress), "Pain is just weakness leaving the body!" OH YEAH, BABY!!! Not sure what that really means, but I feel a lot of weakness leaving my body these days! That's a good thing, right?

Anyways, the demographics of the 'club' are different as well. Back in SL, you had these beefcakes who were always at the gym, no matter what time of day that I went (even though they didn't work there). If I were there in my current weight state™ (<-- MINE! - rhyme!) I would be embarrassed, because I didn't look in shape enough to be there in the first place. However, there was always the token lady on the treadmill talking loudly on her cell phone, but what's a gym with out one of those? I go to the gym this morning and the parking lot is slammed. There is a preculiar thing about this gym. It's not that large, but even when there are a lot of cars, it doesn't seem that busy. Anyways, I get there this morning and there are a lot of people there, but the are 30 YEARS my elder, at least! I mean, guys in there wearing slacks and a button down with those special walking shoes for older friends and all! I didn't feel all that inferior in this context and I had some of the nicest skin in the place! BUT, I was on the leg extension machine and this nice older lady got on the squat machine next to me. She had to be like in her 70s... I realized that she was doing almost the same amount of weight as I was!!! Immediately I wanted to justify why I was being a pansy (hernia surgeries, don't want to pull a groin, just getting back into the gym, etc.), but I just allowed myself to be humbled (and added 10 more lbs to the machine!).

So, I had a good work out today at the gym with my older friends. They all talk amongst themselves and pretend that I'm not there, which is cool by me. I worked out my legs and then did 20 minutes of cardio. I was one of the fastest guys on the elliptical today!...

I've also received some helpful tips and business opportunities from friends/readers. Just a FYI - I'm good on supplements (I've been a distributor for Advocare for several years), I know that no carb diets are not sustainable in the long-run, and I have the basics of working out/eating down (thanks to Coach L.). If you would like to join me in actively pursuing a healthier life in order to better serve God, our family, and the Church, then let me know! You can e-mail me here (if you're a new friend) or hit me up on my regular e-mail addresses if you already have them.

ORIGINAL WEIGHT: 238 lbs
WEIGH IN: 236 lbs
TOTAL LOST: 2 lbs

What this is and Days 1&2

There is something that I have been struggling with for the past 2 1/2 years. It's totally an acceptable sin/struggle, even in the most conservative circles, and it is not a new struggle for me. However, I have finally had enough. "I have what the doctors call a little bit of a weight problem." - Tommy Boy.

In the fall of 2002, my good friend Joel Engle gave me a talking to about my weight. He was very kind and willing to walk with me through repentance (and getting off my lazy rump) and got me started on a 'new way of life' (see Galatians 6:1-2). I lost over 30 lbs and was in the best shape of my life. Although my travel schedule continued to increase, I was able to stick to the diet/workout schedule pretty well and maintained a healthy body.

Then in June 2006, our sweet daughter Braelyn arrived. I had done pretty good during the pregnancy (as did Steph), but after B arrived, there were many late nights. Around this time we had discovered TV shows on DVD and I had (re)discovered Goldfish crackers. Many late nights up with the baby we would watch TV shows and I would chomp down on Goldfish crackers. I wish I could blame the entirety of my current predicament on Goldfish crackers, because that would be pretty cool, but that's just where it began.

So, here I am, 2 1/2 years later, 30 years old, 238 lbs, high-cholesterol, pre-diabetic, and borderline blood pressure. Not good. Something has got to change, so with the help of my dear wife, and the encouragement of some close friends, I am going to aggressively (Lord willing and Lord helping) attack this sin problem. Now, I am only a mild glutton (and for that I repent), but the deeper sin is entitlement.

Entitlement (a caveat of pride) in many ways. It can be that I feel like I have been working hard, so why not comfort myself with some tasty treats? Or, I am feeling sorry for myself. Or, I am happy and wanting to celebrate (apparently I have a LOT to be happy about!). I have this Oprah-esque hidden belief that I 'deserve' all these good things in abundance. However, if these things are so good, then why am I finding myself at a fork in the road with 2 options. Option 1 - eat, drink, and be merry, but understanding that my close friends and family will have to explain to my dear daughter that, "Daddy just loved food and himself more than you and Mommy." Or, I can commit to being different, truly humbling myself, pulling an old word out of storage, "No", and humbling myself to specific forms of accountability.

Now, some of you, I'm sure are wondering why in the world I would post this? Is this a gross illustration of pride (I guess it can work in the direction of starving for humiliation, but that's not my pride-of-choice)? Or perhaps I just am starving for attention? No. As I get older I'm more of an introvert, especially as I have been learning to, "sit down on the inside" (Thanks, Neil). Then what gives?

It's really quite simple. I recall talking to an old friend of mine who has trouble with his weight/health and he told me the reason he went to Weight Watchers™ was because he was forced to humiliate himself once a weak by stepping on a scale in front of a group of other people. That was his last ditch effort, because everything else (done in the dark), didn't seem to help. Also, I need your help, but let me start with what I don't need from everyone on the face of the planet. I know there is a huge risk in doing this, but it's worth a shot.

What I don't need from you:

1. I don't need uninvited accountability partners. There are several people I have talked to or intend on talking to later this week about this struggle. They will have the right to speak into my life. So, if I have not asked for this delicate help, then I don't expect you to run up and slap a cheeseburger out of my hand or ask me how many calories are in such-and-such. There will be days that I will have a treat or two, which will be determined by me and my dear wife.

2. Fat jokes are not funny. I'm pretty laid back with most things, but it has gotten old having people pat my belly and make jokes about Blue Bell, etc. Thank you, I know you mean well, but seriously, I am very much aware that I have gained weight. It's just hurtful. I'm a tough man, and if you've said something stupid (which I honestly don't recall the who's and what's) no need to apologize, just be aware.

3. Denial of my weight struggle. Now, if I were 165 pounds and 6 feet tall and was talking about aggressively losing weight, then I definitely would need a talking to. However, if a person has 2 eyes and believes in science, then it is apparent that some radical changes need to take place. So, please don't try to say, "You don't look that fat..." I mean, I can handle it, but seriously, not very helpful.

4. Tons of diet plans. If I ask for tips on here, please feel free to share. But, I have become diet-schizo trying to incorporate everyone elses diets into my life. I can't handle all of that. I've lost weight before, I know what my body responds to, so thanks, but not necessary. I like tips like, "Green Tea is a great substitute for coffee!" That's helpful, but, "Do this diet and you'll lose 85 pounds in 2 weeks!" - Not helpful.

5. Brussels Sprouts. I do not care how good they are for me. No.

How you can help:

1. Pray. Please pray. I know how cliche it may seem, but I cannot do this on my own, nor do I want to strain my marriage by having Steph have to 'force' me towards anything. I need the Lord's help.

2. Gift cards to HEB, Wal-Mart, GNC. Not really, but my family and I are committing to eat much 'cleaner' and I know the supplements that help my body function appropriately, so any love in that regards would be great. :-)

3. Join me. This is a bummer to do alone. I'd love for some of my friends out in the blogosphere to join me in committing to living healthier.

4. Healthy Food Options. I never want a guest to plan a meal around me, by any means. That is why I have not made specific food requests in my ministry agreements (even though my Doc was trying to make me do so). However, if you are going to have pizza, please have salad. There are days that I will still eat pizza, but I love pizza, and need to watch my intake. Or, if all else fails, just let me know ahead of time that you are going to have unhealthy food and I'll get something to eat on my own. Totally cool.

5. Encouragement. When I said previously that I did not want uninvited accountability partners, this does not mean at all that you cannot ask me how it is going or encourage me. I just need to have some healthy boundaries.

Now for the Days 1 & 2 Summaries:

DAY 1: I had committed last week that this Monday (March 16) I would begin eating better and working out. To be honest, I like to work out, it just takes so much time, of which I am often limited. However, as I was driving home yesterday afternoon, I realized that I had sprouted, bloomed, or whatever you want to call it. I actually had MAN-BOOBS! Frustrated, yet determined, I walked in the house, barely said 'Hello' to my wife and declared that I would be going to the gym. She could tell that I was feeling upset and asked what was wrong and I declared, "I HAVE MAN-BOOBS!" Apparently, she thought that was funny, and in hindsight, I suppose that astute observation (and truthful statement) could be a bit humorous. However, I didn't think it funny at the time, but appreciated her light-hearted response.

So, I went to the gym, worked my upper-body and then did 20 minutes of cardio (just walking, after lifting I lacked the energy to run with all this extra weight). I ate well yesterday, and Steph has been a big help. Also, I have been drinking a lot of Green Tea, I hear it's good for you and a healthy alternative to coffee.

Day 2: Today has been a good day so far. I drank a lot of water yesterday, so I have been a freqeuent guest to our 1-bathroom and at times to our back-yard (hey, we live in the country!). I had some Fiber-One™ Cereal this morning and Green Tea. Went to the gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. Am blogging now, drinking green tea, and about to go have lunch. Weighed in at the gym today and I'm still 238 lbs. As much as I was going tinkle, I had thought that I could have dropped a pound of water weight or something. No dice... Steph reminded me today, "It didn't take one day to put the weight on, so it's not going to come off in a day either." True. Encouraging and discouraging.

Well, I'm off for now. Would love to hear from you!